Growing up I was encouraged to pursue sporting interests or those that took me outside and involved Transformers or a truck that would dump sand on small children. Unfortunately ‘the theatre’ was not high on my parents’ agenda for me and thus, I am cursed by a severe lack of talent.
Some judges (Marcia Hines excluded) have been upfront enough to say that I can’t sing or dance unless it’s to Kenny Loggins. Nevertheless, this hasn’t hampered my dreams of gracing the stage and during the week I finally found my opportunity.
Cameron Mackintosh’s acclaimed new production of Boublil & Shonberg’s MISS SAIGON requires someone to play Tam, a non-singing or dancing lead - and I am perfect for the part.
Unfortunately they’re looking for Asian/Eurasian boys ages between 4-8, less that 100cm tall. Once again, my burgeoning career has been held back by discrimination.
What is Eurasian anyway?
A quick Google search tells me that not only is model/convicted drug-user Michelle Leslie of Eurasian decent,
but so is the fearsome Eurasian Dragon,
which I’m led to believe is a distant relative of the Liger.
While both Leslie, the dragon and the Liger will get you out of a Balinese prison, only one can successfully pretend to be a Muslim.
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